\ 



THE AMATEUR SERIES. 




*'.^ii-ct TTTell 3ro-a.r psurt." 


IN 


'.H3 DARK. 




A SOCIETY FARCE. 




— :by: — 




W. G. VAN T. SUTPHEN. 




JP:RX(3:Ei 15 ODBHSTTS- 




CHICAGO: 




T. S. DENISON, 




PUBLISHER. 


NO 


PLAYS EXCHANGED. 



THE STAR DRAMA. 

Price, FIFTEEN CIS. EACH, Postpaid. 

This series includes only plays of the hig^hest order of merit. They are the very 
: best before the public. These plays are rich in variety of incident, and spirited in 
action. The dramas combine tender pathos, delightful humor, and sparkling wit. 
The farces are brimful of the rarest fun. 

This series is very carefully revised by an experienced editor. Each play is un- 
abridged. They are unequaled in fullness of stage directions, typography, and 
print. Every play on this list is a success. This series includes only plays suited 
to the present day. 

Alili THAT »LiITT£RS IS NOT «OIiI>.-A comic drama in two 

acts. Time, two hours. Six males, three females. 
CASTE.— A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. Five . 

males, three females. 
EAST liYBTBirE.— A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. 

Eight males, seven females. 
FRUITS OF THE Vi^IM'E CUP.— A temperance drama in three acts. 

Time fifty minutes. Six males, four females. 
HOIIE. — A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours. Four males, three females. 
ICI OUT PABLiE FRAKCAIS,— A farce. Time forty m'inutes.. Four 

males, three females. 
IX THE WRONGS- HOUSE, (two T. J.'s) A farce. Time thirty minutes. 

Four males, two females. 
I'M NOT MESIIiF AT Alili,— A farce. Time, twenty-five minutes . Three 

males, two females. 
JOHN SMTH.— A farce. Time thirty-five min. Five males, three females. 
fi-ISS IN THE HARK,— A sketch. Time thirty minutes. Three males, two 

females. 
liAD Y OF li YONS.— A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and forty-five 

minutes. Twelve males, four females. 
I4ARKINS' IiOVE IjETTERS.— A farce. Time, forty minutes. Four 

males, two females. ~ 

liOUVA, THE PAUPER.— A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 

forty-five minutes. Nine males, four females. 
lilMERICH. BOY. (THE)- A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Five 

males, two females. 
BKY WIFE'S REI<ATIONS.— Comedietta. Time, one hour. Four males, 

six females. 
MY TURN NEXT.— A farce. Time forty -five min. Four males, three females. 
MY NEK^HBOR'S WIFE.— A farce. Time forty-five minutes. Three 

males, three females. 
NOT SU€H A FOOIi AS HE IiOOHS.-A farcical drama in three acts. 

Time, two hours. Five males, four females. 
PISRSECUTEH DUTCHMAN. (THE) —A farce. Time, fifty minutes. 

six males, three females. 
<|UIET FAMIIiY, (A)— A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Four males, 

four females, 
BEOUIiAR FIX, (A)— A farce. Time, forty min. Six males, four females. 
ROUOH HIAMONH. (THE) (Country Cousin)— A farce. Time, forty 

minutes. Four males, three females. 
SOliHIER OF FORTUNE. (A)— A comedy drama in five acts. Time, 

two hours and twenty minutes. Eight males, three females. 
SPARKIiIN» CUP, (THE)— A temperance play in five acts. Time, one 

hour and forty-five minutes. Twelve males, four females. 
TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM.— A temperance drama in five acts. 

Time, two hours. Twelve males, four females . 
TOOHI^ES, (THE)— A drama in two acts. Time, one hour and fifteen min. 

Six males, two females. 
TURN HIM OUT.— A farce. Time, forty-five min. Three males, two females. 
THE TWO PUOHIFOOTS.— A farce. Time, forty minutes. Three 

males, three females. 
UNDER THE liAUREIiS.— A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 

forty-five minutes. Five males, four females. 



T. S. DENISON, Publisher, Chicago. 



IN THE DAEK, 



A SOCIETY FARCE, 



/ 
W. G. Van tassel SUTPHEN. 






CHICAGO. 
T. S. DENISON, Publisher. 

Copyright iSS5, by T. S. Denison. 



IN THE DARK. 



CHARACTERS. 

Mr. Eustace, a placid old gentleman. ^ 

Miss Eustace, his sister, of uncertain age. 

Miss Jacqueline Eustace, his daughter, an heiress. 

Mr. Henry Raymond, a young man who must marry an heiress. 

Mr. Wilton Clare, his friend, a young man who would like to. 

James, a footman. 

Clark, a policeman. 

Time of flaying tiventy-fir^e minutes. 



COSTUMES.— Modern. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R means right — the actor facing the audience i X, left; C, center: /?, 
C, right center ; U E^ upper entrance, etc. 




THP96-0 06 764 



IN THE DARK. 



Scene. The dratving-room in Mr. Etistace's villa at Bel Air. Mr. 
Eustace^ Miss Eustace and Jacqueline are discovered. Enter James 
ivith mail bag. Doors R and L. Fireplace and screen back L. 

James. The post, sir. 

Mr. Eustace {taking bag and opening it). Only one letter, and that 
one for — 

Miss Eustace, Me .^ 

Mr. Eustace. No, for me. Why, it is from young Raymond, my old 
friend's son, and tells me that he is in town, and will call here this even- 
ing. Jack, you can begin to prepare for another conquest. 

Jacqueline. What nonsense, papa, (bhcshes furiously). 

Miss Eus. (^tartly). Why do you address Jacqueline by such an absurd 
name.** One would think you were speaking of a canary bird, or of a 
Shetland pony, of anything, in fact, but a young lady, 

Mr. Eiis. {-warmly). My dear sister, your comments are entirely un- 
called for. Say another word and I'll have her named Jackson by special 
act of legislature. Yes,Jackson, !» Jove. Ifaman — {Enter James, 'L,, 
announces Messrs. Raymond and Clare. Miss Eustace and Jacqueline van- 
ish -with ■precipitatio7i) 

Mr. Eus. {rushing forward and effusively embracing Clare). My dear 
Raymond, you are as welcome — bless me, what a likeness! Would 
know you among a thousand. And you his son! Impossible! 

Clare {striving to extricate himsef). But I'm not, you know. It's the 
Other fellow. 

Mr. Ens. {still holding on and roaring at the top of his voice). Don't 
tell me you are his son. I can't believe it, I really can't. 

Clare {vainly struggling to get away). I don't want you to believe it. 
I wouldn't be any one's son under any consideration. I'm another per- 
son altogether 

Mr. Eus. {holding him firmly at ami's length). Don't tell me anything 
of the kind. I never was mistaken in my life, and I don't intend to be 
now, {Suddenly dragging him under the gas-jet). So you are an impos- 
tor, are you.-* Having an eye on the silver, I suppose .f* Here, James, a 
policeman, quick. I got one of these infernal sneak thieves at last. 

Clare {feebly^. My good sir, that gentleman is Mr. Raymond. I am 
simply his friend. 

Mr. Eus. {staggering back). God bless me, what a remarkable misun- 
derstanding. So you {Rushing at Raymond., ivho retreats hastily 

behind one chair., as Clare sinks exhausted in another^ 

Raymond. Yes, I am, but you'll excuse me. You see, my dear sir, I 
am very peculiarly constituted, and my collar-bone is liable to fraciure 

(3) 



4 IN THE DARK. 

under the slightest provocation. I should be pleased to make your 
acquaintance, but you will acknowledge that it would be an extremely 
awkward thing if you should accidentally put me out of joint. 

Mr, Eus. {retreating'). How very extraordinary. 

Ray. Extraordinary, yes. Not that I am in the habit of coming to 
pieces on careful handling, but still I don't care to run the risk of being 
promiscuously dislocated under the guise of friendship. 

Mr. Etis. {sinktn£- into his chair). God bless me! 

Ray. {cautiously approaching.) My dear Mr. Eustace, I am delighted 
to have met you — by deputy. (Clare groans.) Suppose we consider 
the acquaintance as formed, and now allow me to present my friend, 
Mr. Clare. 

Mr. Eus, {ivith alacrity and grasping both gentlemen by the hand?) My 
dear sirs, I owe you both a thousand apologies, and you must signify 
your acceptance of them by dining with me to-night. " 

Ray. Should be charmed, but — 

Mr. Eus. Not a word. I won't listen. You shall dine with me or 
not at all. I insist upon it. I shall really feel obliged to press my 
request. 

Ray. {with a ivry face.) No, don't ; that is, don't press it any more. 
We shall be most happy. 

Mr. Eus, Well, then, that's settled. You'll excuse me while I settle 
with your driver. James will show you up. Not a word. {Exit in a 
great hurry, L.) 

James. One moment, gentlemen. {Disappears., R.) 

Ray. My dear Clare, accept my most heartfelt thanks. You went 
through the ordeal like a hero of E||mance. The only thing I would 
criticise is that you were a trifle constrained in your manner. I didn't 
suppose you had so much endurance about you, I really didn't. You 
should take out a patent on yourself as a pneumatic buffer. 

Clare, {surveying himself in the glass.) You're very candid in ac- 
knowledging your obligations. It's only a matter of two broken ribs. I 
don't know but what it's three. Kindly pull my shoulder-blade into 
place. Thank you. Will you — 

Ray. {suddenly horror-stricken^ My dear Clare, an awful thought has 
just struck me. I haven't any evening clothes with me, and Mr. Eustace 
is the most particular of men. 

Clare, {feebly.) Well.? 

Ray. My dear Wilton, do try to act like something else than a pressed 
autumn leaf, and think up some way out of this predicament. You don't 
happen to have another evening suit in your traps.!* 

Clare. No, I haven't; that is, 1 have two sets of everything except 
the coat, {brightejiing up.) How would it do for us to take turns in 
going down to dinner.? You wear the coat for a while and then I. Trust 
me, and I'll make everything work beautifully. 

James, {entering.) This way, now, gentlemen. {Clare -follows James 
out, R.) 

Ray. {walking up and down the room.) Ridiculous as this idea is, I 
may be able to turn it to some advantage. I understand that there are 
two young ladies in the house who answer to the name of Miss Eustace. 
It would be awkward for my prospects if I began paying attention to the 



IN THE DARK. 5 

wrong one. If I lef Clare go down to dinner alone, he can find out for 
me which is the right one, and then I can act accordingly. I'll do it. 
(^Rushes out as Mr. Eustace enters^ L.) 

Mr. Eus. {-walking to the fireflace!) Young Raymond seems to be a 
fine young fellow; I like him. I know what he is here for. He is after 
Jacqueline, and on the whole I don't know that she could do better. His 
family is all tiiat can be desired, and even if he is poor, Jacqueline has 
enough for two. By the way, it just strikes me that 1 don't know he is 
young Raymond after all. He brings no letters with him. However, 
he can't do much harm until I can find out about him, even if he is an 
impostor. {Clare^ Miss Eustace and Jacqiieltne^ all in evening dress., enter 
the room., R.) 

Mr. Eus. {ivith empressejnent.) My dear Mr. Clare, allow me to in- 
troduce Miss Eustace. {They bow.) And this {turning to Jacqueline) is 
Jack, as we all call her, Miss Jackson if you like {with a defiant glance at 
Miss Eustace). 

Miss Eus. {with freezing dignity.) Permit me to present — {enter 
James^) Dinner is served, sir. 

Clare, {aside.) I don't begrudge the heiress to Raymond. Forty- 
five if she's a day. 

Mr. Eus. Mr. Clare, will you escort Miss Eustace and Mr. Raymond 
— why hallo! {tnrning around) where is Mr. Raymond.? 

Clare, {confusedly.) He will be down in a moment. He particularly 
requested that you should not wait for him. 

Miss Eus. But we will wait for him. We couldn't possibly think of 
going on without him. 

'fac. Why, of course not. 

Clare, {awkwardly^ But you see he can't possibly come because — 
{aside) Oh! confound it all, that won't do — {aloud) that is, don't you 
know he will look at it in the light of an especial favor, and {brilliantly) 
you see he don't like soup. Makes him ill you know to even look at it. 
Very curious, but the solemn truth, upon my honor. 
Jac. In that case we might dispense with it altogether. 
Clare, {in alarm.) Not on any account, I mean on my account. I'm 
passionately fond of soup myself. Wouldn't think I had dined if I^j^idn't 
get it. 

Mr. Eus. {testily.) And meanwhile it is all getting cold. If the 
case stands this way we'll send up for him afterward. Now if you are 
ready. {They retire^ R., and Raymond enters in full evening dress., with 
the exception of his coat.) 

Ray, {zvalking nervously ttp and down.) Well, this is certainly a pleas- 
ant position for a leader of society. I begin to think that the situation 
is a little awkward. More than that, I'm afraid Clare will spoil every- 
thing any way. There he is at it now. {Runs to the door and listens. 
Mr. Eustace is heard talking loudly in the adfoiniiig room.) What, must 
go up yourself? Nonsense. Here, James, tell Mr. Raymond — Well, if 
you really prefer to go yourself — A plate of soup?— What's that ? — Want 
it for your dog? Didn't know you had one here, but of course take it 
along — Don't mention it — Eh! a silver spoon? What's that? — Educated, 
Who? Oh! the dog. I see, ha! ha! very good. Aristocratic tastes and 
all that. James, bring another spoon . The door to the right, Mr. Clare. 



6 IN THE DARK. 

Ray. {gaspmg^ Gracious Heavens! {Enter Clare^ R., 'with a ^late 
of soup in his hand.) 

Clare. {Jiolding it out to Raymottd.) Here, take your infernal soup. 
Well, I flatter myself that I have managed this thing admirably. 

Ray. {sarcastically.) You certainly have. Your diplomacy in getting 
hold of that soup was really Machiavellian in its deep, demoniacal clev- 
erness. The excuse for wanting a spoon was worthy of Metternich. 
( With a forced attempt at a little i7inocent merriment .) An educated dog. 
Very good ; ha ! ha ! {Savagely.) Who the deuce told you I wanted any 
soup at all.'* You will ruin everything by your clumsiness. 

Clare, {weakly.) Look here, Raymond. You're rather hard on a 
fellow, seems to me. I couldn't bring you ovit everything on the bill 
of fare. You're not in a restaurant, you know. 

Ray^ {setting down the soup and flourishing the spoon wildly in the air.) 
My dear Wilton, I would advise you, as a friend, to tie a wet towel 
around your head and endeavor to keep quiet. Your brain won't stand 
the pressure you are putting upon it. Let me have that coat {takes it 
from Clare and puts it on^ abstractedly slipping the spoon into his zvaistcoat 
pocket as he does so.) Now then, tell me which is Miss Eustace. 

Clare, The one in light blue. 

Ray, And the other young lady is? 

Clare. Miss — Oh ! confound it ! what was her name? Jack, Jacket, 
Jackstone, Jackstraw, Jackson. Yes, that was it, Jackson — Miss Jackson. 

Ray. Very well. Now do keep quiet. I'll make it all right inside. 
You're taken suddenly ill, obliged to lie down, and all that. 

Clare. And you? 

Ray. {with his hand on the door.) I'll go in and eat the rest of the 
dinner. {Exit, R.) 

Clare, {taking up the plate of soup) Well, this is pleasant for me. 
Lucky I had the presence of mind to bring this out, or I might have 
starved. This is quite like being on a desert island. The only trouble 
is that the bill of fare is a trifle monotonous. I was obliged to eat two 
plates of this stuff inside to give Raymond time to get ready, and now 
I've got to get away with this one to keep up the character of the dog. 
{Ent^/t0ames^ R.) Ah! James. That's your name, I bslieve? 

James. Yessir. 

Clare {placing the soup plate carefully behind the door). It may pos- 
sibly strike you, James, as rather singular seeing me here. I begin to 
think myself, the situation is a little peculiar; but I can't enter into de- 
tails just at present. How is dinner getting along? 

James. They're at the roast, sir. 

Clare. Mr. Raymond is enjoying himself, I suppose? 

James. Nothink better than them ducks he'd ever eaten. So he told 
Mr. Eustace. 

Clare {with interest). What! Is there roast duck? 

James. Yessir, and prime. 

Mr. Eus. {from within). Try some of this yellow label, Mr. Raymond. 
Nothing better. 

Clare. That settles it, James. 

James. Yessir. 

Clare. I want your coat for a couple of hours. There will be a dollar 
for you. 



IN THE DARK. ^ 

James {xvith alacrity^ taking it off and handing it to Clare). Oh! sir. 

Clare {putting it on). In the right hand inside pocket of it — when 
you get it back. {Running to hall door R.) Now for my revenge. I'll 
cut Raymond out, and marry the heiress myself. One moment to brush 
up, then I'll enter on the conquest. {Exit R., leaving James in open- 
moutlud astonishment.) 

James. Precious queer doinks, I'm blowed if it ain't. Blest if I hav- 
ink been reg'larly done. {Enter Raymond L. James disappears R.) 

Ray. {throwing off his coat). Now then Why ! Clare, I say, Clare! 

{Rushes out into hall). 

{Enter James R. He takes 7ip coat and puts it on.) 

James. Heavink be thanked. I couldink 'ave *oped for this. Wot a 
blessink. {A bell rings.) Comink d'rectly, sir. {Exit R.) 

{Enter Raymond L.) 

Raymond. I can't find him anywhere. Hallo! Where's my coat? 
Can he have taken it and gone in again } 

Mr. Ens. {from -within.) No use in waiting longer ; James, open the 
doors. 

Raymond {in consternation^ Just my luck ; and no chance to get out. 
{Jumps behind the fire screen^ as the party from the dining room comes in. 
Miss Eustace sits down and begins to Jan herself. Jacqueline walks aim- 
lessly around the roojn.) 

Mr. Eus. {after a momenfs silence). I must say that the way in which 
my guests have been appearing and disappearing is, to say the least, ex- 
traordinary. I had expected to have two gentlemen to dine with me. 
Instead of that I have had two — well, I won't call them swindlers, just 
yet — and a dog to lunch. It may be all right, but it strikes me it would 
be well to count the spoons. 

Raymond {from behind the screen). Well this is pleasant. Gracious 
heavens, if I should be discovered ! He'd never give me a chance even 
to explain. {Jacqueline^ ivho has approached the fire^ looks carelessly over 
the screen^ and quickly suppressing a pardonable desire to scream^ nods in 
ans-wer to Rayjnond^s vigorous pantomimic s^estures^ and^ seating herself be- 
gins tmconcernedly to turn over the leaves of a book.) 

Miss Eus. It certainly is very queer where they have gone, and that 
Mr. Clare was such a nice young man. 

Mr. Eus. {gruffly). That is a well known characteristic of your con- 
fidence man. 

Jac. {decidedly). You will never make me believe that of Mr. Ray- 
mond, at least. 

Ray. {sotto voce). Bless you for that. That Miss Jackson is certainly 
a fine girl. 

Clare {coming in L., smiling and bowing^ Mr. Eustace, I owe you a 
thousand apologies. 

Mr. Eus. {coldly^ I've just sent to find out if you don't owe me some- 
thing else as well. I must say, sir, that the events of this evening have 
somewhat perplexed me. Mr. Raymond left the table in a great hurry 
half an hour ago, and no one seems to know anything about him. 



B INT THE DARK. 

Clare. No; you don't say so. {aside) This is an excellent opportun- 
ity for me to press my suit. {To Mr. Eustace) My dear sir, I am really 
at a loss. 

Mr. Eus. And I'm afraid I am {with marked emphasis. Sits down 
and stares gloomily at the wall.) 

Ray. {aside.) 1 must say I am beginning to feel uncomfortable. 
Clare, {aside.) It seems to be rather frosty around here. I had bet- 
ter make sure of the heiress while I can. {Crosses over to Miss Eustace)., 
My dear madam — 

Miss Eus. {with ^pretended severity >^ Mr. Clare, I don't know what to 
think of 3'ou. 

Clare {taking a seat by her.) Oh! Miss Eustace, if I could only flatter 
myself that you did think of me. {aside) Horrible old thing, but worth 
a cool half million. 

Ray. {disgustedly.) The beggar is actually making love to the heiress, 
and my father has threatened to cut me off with a shilling if I don't get 
her. 

Miss Eus. (tapping him playfully with her fan.) Oh ! you flatterer. 
You're like all the rest of 3^ou wretched men. 

Clare {tenderly.) Miss Eustace, if I thought — {aside) The old hag was 
only waiting for a chance to get her claws on me. Well, I'm lucky, as the 
world goes. 

Ray. {in alarm.) The fellow is really cutting me out, and the next thing 
I know I'll be arrested as a swindler, lose the heiress, and be ordered by 
my respected father never to darken his door again. 

Miss Eus. {softly.) Pray go on, Mr. Clare. You were about to say — 

Clare {aside.) Those teeth and that complexion will certainly kill me. 
{aloud) I have been silent thus far, Miss Eustace, but it has not been 
through indifference. You may not credit me when I say — {aside) 
Forty-two if she's a day, but no matter. 

Ray {despairingly.) Oh ! for a dress coat to hire. I'd pay a thousand 
dollars a minute for one. 

Miss Eus. (sighing deeply.) I, too, have suffered, Mr. Clare. I, too, 
have known — 

Mr. Eus. {starting up suddenly and ringing the bell.) This has got to 
be cleared up. {To James, who appears L.) Call a policeman. {To 
Clare) It's my settled opinion, sir, that you're no better than you should 
be, while your friend is an impostor. Yes, sir, an impostor, I say, in 
pretending to be the son of my old friend. 

Ray. Oh for the trap door of a theatrical ghost ! 

Clare {springing to his feet.) Such language, sir, demands an expla- 
nation. 

Mr. Eus. {detenninedly.) It does, and I intend to have it. {An em- 
barrassed sileMce ensues.) 

Mr. Etis. {walking to fire-place?^ It strikes me that it is unpleasantly 
cool in here. That screen should be moved. 

Ray {in agony.) On the contrary, I find it rather warm. 

yac. {placing herself before it.) Not on any account. It would make 
the room perfectly unbearable. 

Clare {aisde.) It's a good deal that way now. 

Mr. Eus. {warmly?) But I insist, and it shall be moved. {As he seizes 



IN THE DARK. 9 

hold of it the gas goes out. The ladies scream^ and Mr. Eustace^ rushing 
blindly forzvard^ seizes Raines by the throat afid calls loudly for the police.) 

Ray {rushing ojit .) The heiress be hanged. Only let me get out of 
this place. {Runs up against Miss Eustace^ -who immediately falls into his 
arms.) 

Clare (seizin a- Mr. Eustace by the hand, and shouting tvith the voice of a 
stentor.) Appearances, it is true, are against me, but let the purity and 
strength of the affection I bear — 

Mr. Eustace {lustily ) James, I say, James, James, that policeman, 
quick. I've got one of the villains here. 

{Jacquelijie in the meantime succeeds in getting the gas lighted fust as the 
policenian rushes in. Clare drops Mr. Eustace's hafid, and staggers back, 
and there is a general moment of stupefactio7i, during ivhich Miss Eustace 
takes the opportunity to faint in Raymond'' s arms.) 

Mr. Eus. {pointing to Raymo7id.) Arrest that man, officer {fulling the 
fatal spoon out of his pocket.) Here's the stolen property in his possession 
now^ — flagrante delicto, you knowr. 

Policeman {starting back.) What! arrest Mr. Henry Raymond.-* 

Mr. Eus. {in astonishment.) Then you know him, do you ? 

Ray. Of course he does. Clark was an old coachman of my father's. 
{To the unconscious Miss Eustace in a whisper?) You will excuse, I know, 
the suddenness and informality of my addresses in the sincerity of the 
motives which have Jed me — 

Mr, Eus. {beivildered.) But what does it all mean.? 

Ray {aside.) I may win all yet. {aloud.) Explanations will come 
later. Now, inopportune as it may seem, I have to ask of you your 
daughter's hand. {Holding Miss Eustace up to viexv.) 

Mr. Eus. {in astonishment^ My daughter! Why, Jacqueline is my 
daughter. 

Ray. {hastily depositing Miss Eustace on the sofa and seizing Jacqueline 
by the hand.) Of course I mean this young lady. {To Jacqueline) Only 
a mistake in the dark, my darling. {Aside.) Thank heaven, I begin to 
see it. 

Mr. Eus. {smiling) Well, we are beginning to get a little light at last. 
Rather a curious game you have played, though. 

Clare {dolefully.) And one in which I seem to have been undeniably 
euchred. 

Ray. My dear Wilton, you must remember that you made the game 
hearts yourself. 

Miss E. {suddenly reviving and crossing over to Clare) Yes, and he 
shall stand by it. 

Mr. Eus. {to Raymond) There certainly is not much use in playing 
against you. You seem to hold all the winning cards. 

Jac. (blushing) Don't forget to count me in, papa. 

Mr. Eus. {Iaughi7ig) Ah! yes, I had almost forgotten you. Includ- 
ing the "Jack " of trumps. 

Ray. {leading Jacquelitieforivard) Well then, suppose we proceed to 
establish some kind of a mutual understanding, for I confess that I am 
even yet, as no doubt you all are — 

All. Slightly in the dark. 

Curtain. 



NOTHING BETTER 



THAN THE 



RECITATION SERJES. 

PRICE POST-PAID, PAPER; 25c. 

" The selections are fresh, pure, and elevating."— J/es^owri Teacher. 

CONTENTS OF No. 2. 

Albert Drecker, Pathetic Thomas J. Hyatt 5 

Better in the Morning, Pathetic Bev. Leander 8. Coan 6 

Blue Sky Somewhere Vera 9 

Wounded, Battle Poem... J. W. Watson It 

Papa's Letter, Pathetic 14 

Grandfather's Reverie, Pathetic Theodore Parker 16 

The Old Village Choir Benj. F. Taylor 18 

At the Party Elizabeth Stuart Phelps 19 

Romance at Home, Humorous Fanny Fern 21 

The Legend of the Organ Builder Harper's Magazine ag 

I Vash So Glad I Vash Here, very Humorous 25 

Der Dog und der Lobster, Humorous Saul Sertrew 26 

What Was His Creed ? 28 

Dedication of Gettysburg Cemetery Abraham Lincoln 29 

Time Turns the Table, Excellent 30 

The Man Who Hadn't Any Objection, Humorous 32 

The Soldier's Mother, Sentimental 33 

"De Pervisions, Josiar." Humorous 34 

A Response to Beautiful Snow, Sentimental Sallie J. Hancock 35 

The Defence of Lucknow, Heroic •. Tennyson 36 

A Model Discourse, Humorous 41 

My Darling's Shoes 43 

The Volunteer Soldiers of the Union Robert G. Ingersoll 44 

Life, Compilation Mrs. H. A. Burning 46 

The Old-Fashioned Mother 47 

De 'Sperience ob de Reb'rend Quacko Strong, Humorous 49 

A Heart to Let 50 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl, Humorous Anonymous 51 

Presentiments, Pathetic T. S. Denison 5^ 

Eloquence or Oratory 56 

Raising the Flag at Sumter Henry Ward Beecher 57 

Parrhasius and the Captive N. P. Willis 59 

Portent Celia Thaxter 63 

He Wasn't Ready, Humorous ^ 

The Old Clock in the Corner Eugene J. Hall 64 

An Illustration, Fine Description Bev. Philip ^rohn, D. D. 66 

The Seven Stages Anonymotis 68 

The Bells of Shandon Francis Mahony 69 

Circumlocution on The House that Jack Built, Fine 71 

(The Brakeman goes to Church, Humorous Burdette 73 

Address to Class of '77, Knox College President Bateman 75 

Bay Billy, Battle Incident Frank H. Gassaway 78 

The Flood and the Ark, Humorous Darkey Sermon 82 

The Steamboat Race Mark Twain 85 

Battle of Gettysburg Chas. F. Ward 90 

A Connubial Eclogue, Humorous J. G. Saxe 93 

The Chambered Nautilus Oliver W. Holmes 95 

Ascent of Fu-ei-Yama Pora Sckoonmaker Soper 96 

The Musician's Tale, Splendid Sea Tale Longfellow 98 

Vera Victoria H. M. Soper 104 

Ruining Van Mi^ipter's Parrot, very Funny 106 

The Irisb r\iioscpher. Humorous . c 10& 



THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. 

Price, IS cts. each, post-paid. 

Thest plays are all short, and very funny. Nothing' poor in the list. They 
serve admirably to g^ive variety to a programme. The female characters may be 
assumed by males in most cases. Where something thoroughly comical, but 
unobjectionable is wanted, they are just the thing. 

STAGE STRUCK DARKT. 

A very funny " take-off" on tragedy ; 2 male, i female. Time 10 minutes. 

STOCKS UP— STOCKS nowx, ■ 

2 males; a played-out author and his sympathizing friend; very funny and full 
of '• business " and practical jokes. Time 10 minutes. 

DEAF— IN A HORN. 

2 males; negro musician and a deaf pupil. A very interesting question sudden- 
ly enables the latter to hear. P'ull of first-class " business." Time s minutes. 

HANDY ANDY, 

2 males; master and servant. The old man is petulant and the servant makes 
all sorts of ludicrous mistakes and misunderstands every order. Very lively in 
action. Time 10 minutes. 

THE MISCHIEVOUS NIOGER. 

A farce; 4 males, 2 females. Characters: The mischievous nigger, old man, 
iJ'rench barber, Irishman, widow, nurse. Time 20 minuses. 

THE SHAM DOCTOR. 

A negro farce ; 4 males, 2 females. This is a tip-top farce. The "sham doctor" 
can not fail to bring down the house. Time 15 minutes. 

NO CURE, NO PAY. 

3 males, 1 female. Doctor Ipecac has a theory that excessive terror will cure 
people who are deaf and dumb. His daughter's lover is mistaken for the patient 
to the terror of all. Only one darky. A capital little piece for schools or parlor. 
Time 10 minutes. 

TRICKS. 

5 males, 2 females. (Only two darkys, i male, i female.) A designing old 
step-father wishes to marry his step-daughter for her money. She and her lover 
plan an elopement. The old man discovers it and has an ingenious counter-plot— 
which fails completely, to his discomfiture. Time 10 minutes. Suited to parlor 
performance. 

HAUNTED HOUSE. 

2 males. A white-washer encounters "spirits" in a house he has agreed to 
white-wash. Plenty of business. Time 8 minutes. 

THE TWO POMPEYS. 

4 males. A challenge to a duel is worked up in a very funny way. Timt 
& minutes. 

AN UNHAPPY PAIR. 

< males, and niales for a band. Two hungry niggers strike the musician 
for a square meal. Good for school or parlotj and very funny. Time 10 minut. 



Any Play on this List 1 5 Cts. Post 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Plays by T. S. DENISON. 

ODDS WITH THE ENEMY. 

A drama in five acts ; 7 male and 4 fe- 
male characters. Time, 2 hours. 

SETH GREENBACK. 

A drama in four acts ; 7 male and 3 fe- 
male. Time, i hour 15 m. 

INITIATING A GRANGER. 

A ludicrous farce ; 8 male. Time, 25 m. 

TWO GHOSTS IN WHITE. 

A humorous farce based on boarding-- 
school life ; 7 female characters. Time, 
25 m. 

THE ASSESSOR. 

A humorous sketch; 3 male and 2 fe- 
male. Time, 15 m. 

BORROWING TROUBLE. 

A ludicrous farce; 3 male and g fe- 
male. Time, 30 m. 

COUNTRY JUSTICE. 

A very amusing country law suit; 8 
male chaVacters. (May admit 14.) Time, 

THE PULL-BACK. 

A laug-hable farce; 6 female. Time, 
20 min. 

HANS VON SMASH. 

A roaring farce in a prologue and one 
act; 4 male and 3 female. Time, 30 m. 

OUR COUNTRY. 

A patriotic drama in three parts. Re- 
quires 9 male, 3 female, (Admits 9 male 
It; female,) Four fine tableaux. Time, 
about I hour. 

THE SCHOOL MA'AM, 

A briliant comedy in four acts ; 6 male, 
5 female. Time, i hour 45 min. 

THE IRISH LINEN PEDDLER. 

A lively farce ; 3 male, 3 female. Time, 
45 m- 

THE KANSAS IMMIGRANTS; Or, the 
Great Exodus. 

A roaring farce; 5 male, i female. 
Time, 30 m. 



TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. 

A splendid farce; 3 male, 6 female. 
Time, 45 m. 

IS THE EDITOR IN? 

A farce ; 4 male and 2 female. 
AN ONLY DAUGHTER. 

A drama in three acts ; 5 male and 2 
female. Time, i hour 15 m. 

PETS OF SOCIETY. 

A farce in high life ; 7 females. Time, 



m 



A V 
male, | 

016 103 "938""fl' 

A drama in nve acrs; 9 mare airu^^^,- 
male characters. Time, i hour 45 Bib 

UNDER THE LAURELS. 

A drama in five acts; a stirring play, 
fully equal to Louva the Pauper. Five 
male, 4 female. Time, i hour 45 m. 

THE SPARKLING CUP. 

A temperance drama in five acts; 12 
male and 4 female. 

Plays by H. Ellio tt MoBride. 

ON THE BRINK. 

A temperance drama in two acts; 12 
male, 3 female. Time, i hour 45 m. 

A BAD JOB. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 30 m. 

PLAYED AND LOST. 

A sketch; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 
20 m. 

MY JEREMIAH. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 m- 

LUCY'S OLD MAN. 

A sketch; 2 male, 3 female. Time, 20 
m. 
THE COW THAT KICKED CHICAGO. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 m. 
I'LL STAY AWHILE. 

A farce; 4 male. Time, 25 m. 

THE FRIDAY AFTERNOON DIALOGUES, 

Short and lively. For boys and girls . 
— Price 25 cts. 

FRIDAY AFTERNOON SPEAKER' 

A choice collection. Three parts: for 
little folks, for older boys and girls, short 
pithy dialogues.'— fA-zce 26 cts. 



SCRAP BOOK READINGS. 

Latest and best pieces. — Price per No. 
{paper couer) 26 cts, 

WORK AND PLAY. 

BY MARY J. JACqUES. 

A gem for the little folks. This is a 
book of both instruction and amusement. 
Part I consists of a large variety of very 
easy progressive exercises in letters, 
numbers, objects, geography, language, 
animated nature, motion, songs, etc. 
Part II consists of dialogues, charades, 
pantomimes, etc. all original.— Price, 
in Manilla boards, post paid, 50 cts. 

T. S. DENISON, Pubiisher, CHICAGO. 



